Saturday, July 12, 2008

The First Ever, Food Wishes Crazy Cooking Caption Contest!

Simply post a comment with your own hilarious caption for this photo. A winner will be picked Tuesday. Only one caption per player. I will get things started with my entry:

Cooking was just one of the relaxation techniques Bob learned in anger management.























Photo © robstephaustralia

51 comments:

Granny said...

Chef John, this is so damn scary I don't know when i will be able to mash a pototo again and I haven't even watched the video yet.

Granny said...

Oh, there is no video, you see how bugged out I got.

swizzle said...

The Culinary Head Case

"Hey Sugar, c'mon over for dinner."
"Naw, that's OK, I'm cooking for us tonight; you just bring the beer."
"What's that?"
"What am I fixing?"
"Homemade Crap!
"WHAT FRICKIN' ELSE WOULD I BE MAKING?"
"YOU know how much I HATE your dumb-ass questions!"
Ahhh, crap! All this talk, and now there's lumps!
"Get over here, woman!"

(Caption? Opps! I thought you wanted...)

jeff said...

"I swear if ONE MORE person complains about hair in their food I'm going to SNAP"!

Jeff

Jewels said...

"Dammit Ma! You let it burn on the bottom!"

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna get even with that guy for stealing my NAKED CHEF idea!!!

DawnsRecipes said...

Must finish this whitening paste! Then I'll finally be rid of this ghastly tan on my forearms!

Judy said...

Bob anticipating the pain of his weekly body waxing, melts the wax.

Chef John said...

granny, relax, there is no video, and it's mac and cheese.

Anonymous said...

Scott from Boston's funny online comments were in stark contrast to his tortured kitchen style.

Connie said...

"I watched the video, they said it would be really easy to stir.....I think the mac and cheese it getting thicker."

Ricardo said...

Maybe THIS will finally get rid of the hair in my chest!

IntoTheVoid said...

"bow-chicka-bow-bow!"

Anonymous said...

John has a craving for prison gruel.

a chinaman said...

THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anonymous said...

Smack & Cheese anyone?

Granny said...

Connie was really bugged out, she watched the video

Anonymous said...

Hey, how about letting us pick the winner- you know - the democratic way, the most votes the winner? Oh, I forgot, that's an old and broken concept.

milkshake said...

I like the original caption best - it has the Far Side cartoon quality to it.

here is my entry though:

Five years in the Foreign Legion prepared Jean-Claude for the grim reality of Mac and Cheese

Chef John said...

OK, I'll do a poll on Tuesday. Just to prove once and for all, Democracy doesn't work! Unless I win, then democracy is a great system.

Balu said...

Summoning the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Mac and Cheese... You are doing it wrong!

K said...

If I just stir hard enough, the building will stop tilting off the edge of that precarious cliff!

Michael said...

"Ich lieche ver pistich ein mac'n'cheese"

subbawt said...

Crazy Bob's Macaroni and Cheese
Ingredients: Macaroni, Cheese, Chest hair and Lithium to taste (optional).

Uncle Dee said...

"God, why does it stink?"

Ryan said...

Where is my SHIRT!!!!!!

kenoki said...

In soviet russia, mac and cheese eats you!

Ida said...

I'M NOT GONNA JUST SIEVE IT!

Steffen said...

This was the first and last time Jeff cooked from scratch..

Johan said...

Tension increased when Hairy Potter mashed things up a bit.

sodium disulphide said...

I F***ING LOVE MAC AND CHESEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

blackirondude said...

Vigorous stirring is required when blending your victims brains into that innocent looking pot of mac & cheese.

chloe said...

"when it's mac and cheese, stick with cheese."

Carl S. said...

Dear GOD---cooking Crystal Meth was SO much EASIER!!!!! -cb

Anonymous said...

"You don't stir Mac and Cheese with a WIRE HANGAR. NO WIRE HANGERS WILL TOUCH THIS FOOD!!"
:-)

MC said...

Bitch bitch bitch everyone questions my recipe tastes but THIS one will show them all. This mac and cheese will be the best ice cream sorbet topping E V E R!!!!!!

Michael said...

Now to add the patch of thatch from my right belly as garnish, and i'm done.

Suzanne said...

Damn, there's a hair in my mashed potatoes...

Dawn said...

"Maybe if I make this sticky enough, I can use it to wax all this pesky chest hair!"

Lucia said...

There goes mine:

Because cooking with passion makes food taste better

Anonymous said...

"Why doesn't this look like it did when Chef John made it on foodwishes.com? What am I doing wrong this time!?!?!"

April :-)
(the real problem, as you can plainly see, is no knives on that door in the background... a real Chef John wannabe would have...)

Pyrofish said...

Xtreme Power Mac-n-cheese! Now with real GLASS!!

Daniel said...

This Mac and Cheese'll put hair on your chest even if you only stir it...

I figured this cooking thing isn't nearly as hard as finding a good apron....

Anonymous said...

Mac and Cheese, they're grrrrrrrrreat

Anonymous said...

You call this ... Pot of SHOE??!

Submitted by J.T. Rhoe

(If you don't get the pun ..... what are you doing here??!)

D said...

'twill be a dark day when I find out who ate the last box of Easy Mac!!

Daifoo said...

"Kung Fu Naked Chef in action!"

Bigfoot said...

Bob learns that it does make a difference when you shred the cheese rather than cut it.

Scott - Boston said...

After botching his third attempt at making a red sauce (shown here), a young Chef John turns to the slimy underbelly of the porn industry under the alias Mr. Sal Ami.
After several years, and many many movies "under his belt", he by chance happens upon a video on the internet of Sir Paul McCartney demonstrating his masterful technique for making mashed potatoes. Inspired, he quits the porn industry to go into the safer, more legal, but yet equally as exploitive world of culinary arts.
FoodWishes fans, as well as porn watchers, have been thankful ever since.

Subhorup Dasgupta said...

No matter how far he increased the setting on his stun gun, the evil Makachee army was determined to reclaim Bob's kitchen.

seryph07 said...

What Bob learned was that he should wear a shirt while cooking to prevent food-hair contamination.